Becoming Alive

The journey from dissociation to wide open

As this is a more personal post, most of it will be behind a paywall. Your financial contributions to support my writing are much appreciated and keeping these posts behind a wall with a closed door (of a monthly subscription!) keep this community feeling intimate. And, I know that not everyone can afford to pay, and that a monthly commitment alongside all your other monthly financial commitments can feel a lot. Whether you’re able to become a paid subscriber or not, I value you being here. If you would like to read and can’t currently pay then send me a private message and I’ll send you a comp, no questions asked. You can listen on audio here - please scroll down for the full version.

My area of work for many years as a clinical psychologist has been in trauma and attachment. Often the people who come to see me come because becoming a parent has unlocked long-buried feelings about their own childhood experiences, which they are desperate not to pass on to their own children. Desperate is a word I choose purposefully, there can be a panic associated with the sort of relational and attachment trauma that people come to therapy with, a need for those feelings to be resolved - and fast.

We all have wounds, of course, from our relationships and our experiences. But some wounds are deep, and make us protect ourselves from further harm. Other wounds are shallow, but they come unpredictably so we are always waiting for the next blow.