The Death (and rebirth?) of Psychology (for me)

Wondering about new paradigms

I used to think psychology was the answer to everything. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. Full disclosure here, at the risk of outing myself as the true full on psychology geek I really am, I have spent a lifetime putting experiences into models. Putting people into models, in order to be able to understand them better. Putting relationships and experiences into models. Putting the whole world and everything in it into models. Lovely neat models that brought calm to chaos, and helped me feel that the world made sense. At least, some sense.

And when I say lifetime, I mean lifetime. I was brought up by a psychologist, and I realise now that it isn’t English that is my first language. It’s psychology.

But in the last few years, I’ve learned a new language. And it’s made me realise how limited the language, and models, and world of psychology is. How bound up it is in the models that made my life feel more understandable. Just like in English we are missing wonderful words like the Greek ‘Meraki’ (meaning to put something of your heart and soul into a task), or the German ‘Lebensmüde’ (meaning ‘life tiredness’) or my favourite Japanese ‘Wabi-sabi’ (meaning the beauty in imperfection, which happens to be a particularly perfectly beautiful word to say out loud). In psychology we are so often missing something. Missing the meraki.

Finding ways to bind our hearts and souls with jargon and models and intellectualising of feelings. When actually, what helps human relationships and mental health is opening up our hearts and souls. And connecting with them.

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

Since I’ve learned that I’m autistic, and learned more about how autistic minds operate and learned too how different authentic autistic culture is to neuro-normative culture, I’ve realised how much psychology - the language, the models and the profession of psychology - enabled me to successfully mask. I have created a career - one that I really enjoy and find immensely rewarding - out of that mask. In the past, when I have questioned psychology, I have found new areas of psychology to understand it. And of course I’ve turned to areas outside psychology too, but often drawing this into psychological understanding.