This year I am NOT doing Christmas lunch. I've suggested we go out for it so we can eat and leave, or my husband (who is not keen on my pub idea) is in charge of all the food. all of it.
This year, I've said no to all the Christmas catch up events that I don't really WANT to go to. Sometimes openly saying that i dont have capacity for that, sometimes I've made an excuse like being double booked.
This year, we have booked to go away from Dec 16-29, to our favourite place and its just our immediate family unit so we can be ourselves without having to explain it.
This year I have so much more clarity on what I love about Christmas (all the kid related fun stuff!) And have focused on that. Not much else matters.
There are some events we are doing that I would prefer not to, but I have considered why I have said yes to those and it is because of values around family. So it's easier to make the effort to get through them.
This year I have planned in advance for those days, and made sure we have set aside a day after them so we can all recover without the guilt of "resting". It's intentionally and purposeful and that makes it all feel okay and doable.
So many things Im doing differently. I did it a little bit last year too and just benefited so much. And others commented on how relaxed I was for xmas and were jealous of my ability to say no to events and expectations.
After Christmas I reflected on what were the things that worked and what still felt like it didn't work for us, took notes and adjusted our plans for this year.
It's a hard time of year, but it doesn't have to be as hard as it often is. It just takes a fair bit of work to get your head around (and others heads around!) Doing things a bit differently and also a lot of compassion and understanding for everyone's needs.
I try to fiercely protect the period between Christmas and new year to do NOTHING we don’t want to do. It’s genuinely my favourite bit of the year, because everyone else is busy with their stuff and don’t notice that you’re hibernating at home with the TV and nice food, and maybe a jigsaw if I see a good one.
My kids are older now but even when they were young, I felt very ‘bah humbug’ for not taking them to every event going. I genuinely don’t think they missed much!
Yes to this! I have similar sentiments around the holidays. I think it comes with age and experience and finally just being *tired* enough to not care so much about adhering to traditions just because something is expected. My tiny family of 3 will stay home this year with the dog and skip the big 'do - maybe I will pay a visit to a chosen few between Christmas and New Year. That's it. And although I used to be a stickler for trying to recapture the "magic" holidays of my youth, I'm totally over it. It's liberating. Happy season to you!
Yes! I absolutely needed the reminder to look at what's causing the behaviour and not just trying to 'fix' it..... But this year - for the first time (in the history of my entire family!) I am doing the roast on Christmas Eve instead - last year I cooked a huge roast for just me and my son which ended up being horrifically stressful (and in the end had to be microwaved) trying to do that whilst entertain and feed snacks and soothe overstimulation etc etc etc and I vowed never ever to do that again! I love a roast so going to enjoy it on the eve instead, and just enjoy the day on christmas day without the added stress - and let's be honest, workload!!
My family have gone this route for a long time - it makes me feel like there is something wrong when I describe it to people, but it is the way it has to be and we like it like thar. What I find most difficult is doing the things I value and still finding them overwhelming at this time of year - so I want to do them, but it's still unsettling and over-stimulating, and there is just so much of it. I save myself for just the most important things now, but I still feel like I want to see more people and go and do some things, but I have to choose. Honouring the seasons is important to me, this is a time for rest and taking stock, gratitude etc so it's a time for slowing down and connecting with what is important.
This year I am NOT doing Christmas lunch. I've suggested we go out for it so we can eat and leave, or my husband (who is not keen on my pub idea) is in charge of all the food. all of it.
This year, I've said no to all the Christmas catch up events that I don't really WANT to go to. Sometimes openly saying that i dont have capacity for that, sometimes I've made an excuse like being double booked.
This year, we have booked to go away from Dec 16-29, to our favourite place and its just our immediate family unit so we can be ourselves without having to explain it.
This year I have so much more clarity on what I love about Christmas (all the kid related fun stuff!) And have focused on that. Not much else matters.
There are some events we are doing that I would prefer not to, but I have considered why I have said yes to those and it is because of values around family. So it's easier to make the effort to get through them.
This year I have planned in advance for those days, and made sure we have set aside a day after them so we can all recover without the guilt of "resting". It's intentionally and purposeful and that makes it all feel okay and doable.
So many things Im doing differently. I did it a little bit last year too and just benefited so much. And others commented on how relaxed I was for xmas and were jealous of my ability to say no to events and expectations.
After Christmas I reflected on what were the things that worked and what still felt like it didn't work for us, took notes and adjusted our plans for this year.
It's a hard time of year, but it doesn't have to be as hard as it often is. It just takes a fair bit of work to get your head around (and others heads around!) Doing things a bit differently and also a lot of compassion and understanding for everyone's needs.
I try to fiercely protect the period between Christmas and new year to do NOTHING we don’t want to do. It’s genuinely my favourite bit of the year, because everyone else is busy with their stuff and don’t notice that you’re hibernating at home with the TV and nice food, and maybe a jigsaw if I see a good one.
My kids are older now but even when they were young, I felt very ‘bah humbug’ for not taking them to every event going. I genuinely don’t think they missed much!
Yes to this! I have similar sentiments around the holidays. I think it comes with age and experience and finally just being *tired* enough to not care so much about adhering to traditions just because something is expected. My tiny family of 3 will stay home this year with the dog and skip the big 'do - maybe I will pay a visit to a chosen few between Christmas and New Year. That's it. And although I used to be a stickler for trying to recapture the "magic" holidays of my youth, I'm totally over it. It's liberating. Happy season to you!
So liberating! And the lovely things like lights all over the house, Christmas films on repeat, that is magical too :)
Yes! I absolutely needed the reminder to look at what's causing the behaviour and not just trying to 'fix' it..... But this year - for the first time (in the history of my entire family!) I am doing the roast on Christmas Eve instead - last year I cooked a huge roast for just me and my son which ended up being horrifically stressful (and in the end had to be microwaved) trying to do that whilst entertain and feed snacks and soothe overstimulation etc etc etc and I vowed never ever to do that again! I love a roast so going to enjoy it on the eve instead, and just enjoy the day on christmas day without the added stress - and let's be honest, workload!!
My family have gone this route for a long time - it makes me feel like there is something wrong when I describe it to people, but it is the way it has to be and we like it like thar. What I find most difficult is doing the things I value and still finding them overwhelming at this time of year - so I want to do them, but it's still unsettling and over-stimulating, and there is just so much of it. I save myself for just the most important things now, but I still feel like I want to see more people and go and do some things, but I have to choose. Honouring the seasons is important to me, this is a time for rest and taking stock, gratitude etc so it's a time for slowing down and connecting with what is important.